This is an open letter to the lady I lost 365 days ago, my precious grandmother Nan.
12.9.15. One Year ago I lost my best friend. It has been a year without my snackie, a year without hearing “well sure, Emma Rose.” I can’t help but thinking about you every time I eat a peppermint or wear my red pajamas. Since it is Christmas you’re favorite movie is on, The Polar Express, and I remember our many dates to watch it. It’s been a year without seeing you laugh at I Love Lucy even though you had seen the episode over a million times. A year without tv dinners. A year without toast and grape jelly. A year without canned orange juice. A year without my best friend. A year without Nan. I can remember the last thing you said to me. I remember how your hair smelled and felt so soft on my lips when I kissed your head goodbye. Before you passed we were able to sit down and talk. I said the situation was bad but I was happy that I would have a guardian angel. You said, “well Emma Rose there is only so much I can do up there.”We chuckled as tears streamed down our faces. As I left on our last visit, I told you I loved you however, I didn’t know it would be the last time I would utter those words to you. I know you are looking down on me saying how silly it is for me shedding tears over you, especially at Christmas. But it has been a year since I held your dainty hands and “drove Mrs. Daisy. But I’ve felt you along every step of the way. Never is there a day where I don’t think about you. I see birds and know it is your way of checking in on me. It has been one of the biggest years of my life and I know you’ve seen it all. Charity Ball, Prom, Presentation, Graduation, and moving to Oxford. There are so many times I have wanted to pick up the phone and call you to tell you about the littlest things. In those moments I suffer a moment of grief and then I turn to God for a listening ear in hopes he will relay the message to you. I am so thankful to have gotten closer to you. I am thankful to know that we shared your last communion. I am thankful to know not a day goes by when you don’t think of me too. Do a dance big for me up their Snackie. Can’t wait to be reunited again someday.
Love, Your Rosie
“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.” – Unknown